Let it beat!

"Hey!! Where have you been?? I've been trying to call you all night!"

"Oh I'm sorry, my battery was totally out last night. What happened?"

"Your brother was sent to hospital last night for a heart attack!!!"

.....then she broke in tears, so did I.

*****

My dearest friends,

That was the call from my sister in law a couple of months ago. The call that really hit me. Not only that it was because of what happened to my brother, but also bring back all the nightmare about heart attack. My father passed away because of this deadly disease.

When my father was in the hospital, I saw enough people in that ICCU who suffered badly because of heart problem. Surprisingly, they were not only senior people, but some of them were at my age (read: young and gorgeous! haha...). I happened to talk to a mother whose son was collapsed at home and sent to ICCU. She told me that her son was physically healthy, the cholesterol level was normal, the sugar amount was also within the range and he seemed to have a perfect body figure. So what went wrong? Can you guess?

Yeap! That was because of his stress level. The son worked as an auditor with extreme working pressure and the long working hours. I didn't know what happened with him in the end (hopefully he's doing well right now) as I left the hospital when my father passed away. But one thing for sure is that I realize that it could happen to anyone... I repeat a-n-y-o-n-e! And by that, it includes me, who have never ever managed to get the cholesterol level below the maximum point! Ya..ya... I know, I know. You might saying that it is impossible since my body posture is relatively slim, but hey... this disease does not always look at your weight!

Let us have a brief insight about this disease and how can we prevent happening to us?

Heart attack is the interruption of blood supply to part of the heart, cause heart cells to die. It mostly happened because of blockage at the coronary artery. Blockage is a plague that grows inside the artery. The artery is "the pipe" where the rich-oxygen blood is flowing to the heart. When the artery is full with plague then your heart doesn't get proper supply of oxygen. When this happens, your heart will feel very painful. Worse, it may lead to a stroke.

You might be wondering, what is that plague made of? How can it grow? Well, I read it somewhere that plague consists of fat, calcium, cholesterol and other substances in the blood. They come from various ways like smoke, high cholesterol (triglyceride is very risky for women), high level of sugar and high blood pressure. So you see? They entirely are from our way of living the life. Entirely? Not really. Some may get from family history or age.

The last two things are the factors that you can't change, but should we leave as it is our fate? Absolutely no! There are certainly many ways that we can do as prevention. Let's look at the list:

1. Stop smoking
2. Get more exercise
3. Get heart-healthy diet
4. Maintain the weight
5. ...and lastly, do regular screening

I'm perfectly aware that they are beautiful old song that you have heard for all your life, but have you ever considered to take them seriously? I haven't!

I don't smoke and don't like being around one. Exercise? Well, my mood for exercise comes like my train schedule in the morning. Sometimes it comes at the very punctual time, but mostly it doesn't. Heart-healthy diet? Is seafood counted? How about milky meal? or crunchy fried snacks? That should answer your question if I'm on heart-healthy diet, doesn't it?

The more I think about the risk I have, the more I got so frightened. But being frightened is certainly not enough! Some actions have to be done and most importantly is commitment to yourself! I can't promise anything to myself but I'm feeling that a step forward to realizing that I have to change and live a more healthy lifestyle is in the making. (BTW, it's 00.30 and I'm still awake! a healthy lifestyle?? yeah, rite!).

Let your heart deserve a perfect shape to beat and simply to say... let it beat!

Moment of truth 2010

So here we go....we are just about to come to an end of year 2010. Without any intention to be such a melancholic person, I find it interesting to list down some of my most personal interesting moments in 2010 - just for fun ;-)

Best movie
I'm not a movie freak kindda person, but I was totally amazed with "My name is Khan" movie. You're gonna have to see it yourself to find out why I choose this movie as my most favorite movie this year :-)

Most blessed moment
I'd have to agree on the saying "The sweetness of doing simple thing". My Christmas break was truly a blessing for me. I spent 4 days in Bandung with my brother, Rio and his wife. I really enjoyed every moment there. Be it only a light chat under a cool breeze in the terrace in one evening or a morning bread-toasting chat or when we were strolling down the city.... love it!

Most exciting moment
Well, that certainly goes for my trip to Beijing (and Hanoi)!! Truly a breathtaking experience. Every single day creates a story (see my story in Travel folder).

Most exciting event organizing
There were two events that really really... and really washed me away. First one was my company's employee day event (see my story "Beating with one heart") and second one was Toastmasters D87 Semi Annual Convention (Nov 26-28).

Most boring moment
Hmmm...funny is that I can't think of any... I enjoyed every bit of my life, be it glorious moments or gloomy days, or even those in between.

Most unfortunate event
This one I can surely remember! It just freshly happened when I successfully flew out from a running motorcylcle (Ojek) and hit the ground (after banging my neck to the automatic stopping bar of a parking gate)...phewwww...what a perfect closure of 2010! *buang sial*

to be continued... ;)

Antara Ojek dan Timnas Indonesia

Beberapa minggu belakangan ini Jakarta seperti berada dalam naungan magic spell. Masyarakat baik tua-muda, pria-wanita, dewasa-remaja semua terkena demam sepak bola saat Timnas dibawah komando Kapten Firman Utina melenggang ke Final Piala AFF 2010. Saya sendiri yang ngga biasa dan ngga mengerti detail peraturan permainan ini, pun tersihir duduk manis menonton dan asyik menikmati permainan Arif Suyono dan Achmad Bustami (wohooo...favorit saya dong!) yang 'berdansa' dengan bola di kaki mereka.

Kalau tidak salah ingat, perhatian publik (minimal perhatian saya) baru mulai terasa begitu tim ini melaju ke semifinal melawan Philippines. Mereka bermain begitu gemilang dan menuai puja puji dari masyarakat. Media begitu melambungkan nama mereka di jejeran sosialita baru. Mendadak nama Irfan Bachdim berada dalam rating jajaran Dewi Persik, Jupe, dll. Namun, kekecewaan pun meluas takala Timnas seperti kehilangan 'soul'nya saat bertanding di Kuala Lumpur saat 1st Leg. Berbagai komentar miring pun bertebaran di berbagai media. Semua begitu alergi untuk berbagi sedikit optimisme di 2nd Leg.

Jika masyrakat Indonesia sedang disibukkan dengan melakukan aksi "misuh-misuh" terhadap penampilan timnas, saya pun tak kalah hebohnya melakukan hal yang sama ke tukang ojek yang telah dengan suksesnya menabrakkan diri ke besi penghalang di pos parkir dan mengakibatkan saya jatuh terpelanting dan menjadi tontonan gratis orang-orang. Satu sisi saya geram sekali sama si abang ojek, tapi satu sisi mengutuki kebodohan diri sendiri yang membiarkan tanda-tanda sebelum si besi itu menghantam badan saya. Aahh, sutralah...nasi bener-bener menjadi bubur!

Alhasil yang ada saya menonton serunya pertandingan final sepak bola sambil meringis mengolesi kaki dan pinggang saya yang biru lebam dan memar dengan salep penghilang rasa sakit. Sesekali keluar juga air mata akibat menahan sakit, tapi untungnya lagi aksi laga Arif Suyono dan Achmad Bustami berhasil mengalihkan perhatian saya. I heart youuuu! *halah!* :-)

Nah, kalau di akhir cerita ini, kamu bingung apa hubungannya antara Timnas dan Tukang Ojek, ya memang pada akhirnya ngga ada hubungannya sih...hehehe...palingan bahwa keduanya berhasil bikin saya nyengir dan miris di saat yang bersamaan di penghujung akhir tahun 2010... Bravo Timnas! ...dan bye bye abang ojek yg saya sudah tandai untuk ngga pernah lagi kita berhubungan...wek! :-)

Daniel Henney

My first encounter with this adorably handsome man and the most gorgeous man on earth, Daniel Henney, was in one Korean movie, which I forgot what title was. It was about two men who fell in love with one woman...hmm...a very typical kind of Korean movie, romance. But I'm not going to talk about the movie. It is about that man! Yeaay!

His next movie, My Father, was not really touchy, but his acting in that movie got all my thumbs (and toes) altogether! He acted as a son who tried to look for his bilogical father who was prisoned, or something along that line. I don't really remember. His acting when he shout and released his feeling was really awesome! And still looked great though :-)

Then it was on my flight from Bangkok to Bangalore in 2007 when I watched his "Seducing Mr Perfect" movie. I was totally wholly and fully dumbstrucked! The movie was so funny and very very entertaining. In that movie, he acted as a business man, a killer in M&A business who has to work together with a local korean girl. Going through a lot with the girl, he eventually fell in love with her (very predictable huh?!). Today I watched this movie again through DVD for like the 100th times! (lebay! hehe...).

Here is a brief about him - taken from wikipedia:

Daniel Henney was born to an Korean American mother and anAmericanfather of Irish descent. Henney started modeling in the U.S. in 2001 and has worked in France, Italy, Hong Kong and Taiwan while attending college. After his debut in South Korea with an advertisement for the Amore Pacific's cosmetic "Odyssey Sunrise", he became a spokesperson for commercials for Olympus cameras and for Daewoo Electronics's Klasse air conditioners.

Despite speaking no Korean, Henney became a household name through the South Korean hit TV drama, My Name is Kim Sam Soon. He later learned a bit of the language and appeared on a few variety shows. Henney was a part of an academic scandal in which many sources stated that he had an Economics degree from the University of Illinois at Chicago to bolster his image, while in actuality he had no college degree.

In 2009, he portrayed Agent Zero in the film X-Men Origins: Wolverine. In the fall season of 2009, he is playing "Dr. David Lee" in the CBS television drama, "Three Rivers".

In 2010, Henney had decided to return to South Korea television for KBS2's The Fugitive: Plan B.

Don’t put a question mark when God puts a period

(tulisan ini katanya pernah dimuat di Nafiri, majalah bulanan di gereja saya, St. Arnoldus. Saya tulis "katanya" karena saya sendiri pas lagi bolos ke gereja saat Nafiri itu terbit, sampai seorang teman mengirimkan sms saya saat saya lagi asyik memilih buah di Carrefour. Cerita di bawah ini based on true story lho...hehe..ngga penting yah...)

Siang itu udara panas terik dengan angin sepoi-sepoi yang mengalunkan saya tidur atau tepatnya ketiduran ketika menonton sebuah infotainment di rumah. Tiba-tiba seorang teman datang dan dengan santainya mulai bercerita. Saya yang awalnya masih setengah sadar akibat ngantuk mulai “bangun” karena ceritanya.

Cerita teman saya tersebut bukan tentang gosip selebriti yang menggelar pernikahan dengan biaya yang bisa memberi makan ratusan orang atau sebuah berita tentang serunya sidang perceraian seorang penyanyi tersohor. Teman saya ini bercerita tentang seorang Sara, istri (nabi) Abraham! “Duh, hari gene kok ceritanya tentang seseorang yang notabene tidak up-to-date banget” pikir saya awalnya. Tapi kemudian saya mulai tergelitik oleh komentar teman saya itu “Bo, tahu ngga sih lo kalau Sara itu meremehkan Tuhan waktu Tuhan memberitahukan bahwa ia akan mengandung?” Waduh, mana saya tahu, kenal Sara saja tidak, pikir saya.

Kemudian berceritalah teman saya itu kalau pada saat Tuhan memberitakan kabar gembira bahwa Sara akhirnya akan mengandung, Sara tertawa dan menyangsikan perkataan Tuhan. Saat itu Sara yang berusia 90 tahun sudah menopause sedangkan Abraham sudah berumur seratus tahun. Hal yang wajar jika saya melihat dari kaca mata saya, kaca mata duniawi tentunya yang minus dan silindris dua, kaca mata seorang manusia yang mencari suatu pembenaran berdasarkan logika. Sara telah mengubur harapannya untuk memiliki anak sampai ia meminta Abraham untuk menikahi Hagar, pembantunya supaya Abraham memiliki keturunan. Sehingga ketika mendadak ada durian runtuh, Sara kaget dan tidak begitu saja percaya. Hal itu ia ungkapkan dengan tertawa yang membuat Tuhan murka “Adakah sesuatu apapun yang mustahil untuk Tuhan?” (Kejadian 18:14). Namun Sara tetap ngeyel dan menyangkal “Aku tidak tertawa” (Kejadian 18:15) karena ia takut.

Apa yang Sara lakukan berbeda dengan apa yang dilakukan Abraham, suaminya. Abraham tanpa banyak komentar mengurbankan Ishak anak satu-satunya ketika Allah memintanya. Ia tidak memprotes perintah Allah atau menawar kehendak-Nya. Hal yang sama ketika Nuh diperintahkan untuk membangun sebuah bahtera atau kapal dan mengisinya dengan begitu banyak penduduk sesuai order list dari Allah. Namun Nuh yang berusia 600 tahun tanpa banyak cing cong melakukan tepat yang diperintahkan Allah. Kalau saya jadi Nuh, so pasti akan banyak pertanyaan dan negosiasi dengan Allah. “udah tua ye, enakan juga santai daripada ngumpulin hewan-hewan, sepasang pula masing-masing, capeee dee…” celetuk teman saya itu.

Terus terang saya merasa tersindir oleh kesetiaan Abraham dan Nuh. Percakapan saya dengan Tuhan – yang tidak terlalu banyak – lebih banyak diwarnai tawar-menawar, pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang tidak penting atau kecurigaan dibalik sebuah karunia Tuhan. Saat Tuhan memberikan kenaikan gaji yang cukup lumayan, saya berpikir, wah jangan-jangan Tuhan mau kasih saya beban tambahan nih. Ketika Tuhan menawarkan suatu promosi pekerjaan yang akan meminta waktu dan tenaga saya lebih banyak, saya meminta dispensasi untuk bisa membolos pergi misa setiap hari Minggu ”kan capek, Tuhan... boleh dong istirahat lebih banyak”.

Bayangkan kalau kita menjadi Tuhan. Mungkin Dia akan be-te, wong sudah dikasih karunia kok masih aja ngeyel, masih saja berusaha menawar atau Tuhan mungkin akan sangat kecewa saat kita curiga adanya motif dibalik suatu berkat yang Ia berikan. Padahal kalau kita mau lebih mengenal Tuhan lebih dalam lagi. Tuhan memberikan berkat kepada umat-Nya tanpa syarat. Ia memberikan kita karunia bukan karena kerja keras kita, tapi semata-semata karena kasih karunia-Nya.

Ia memberikan berkatnya seturut kehendak-Nya, pada waktu-Nya, dan sesuai rancangan-Nya ”sebab rancangan-Ku bukanlah rancanganmu, dan jalanmu bukan jalan-Ku” (Yesaya 55:8). Ada saat-saat dalam hidup kita dimana kita melihat kemalangan, kesedihan, kemarahan, ketidakberuntungan serta segala hal buruk yang di luar kehendak kita. Kita menjadi marah dengan Tuhan dan protes atas semua yang terjadi. Jika yang kita minta ke Tuhan tidak terjadi, bukan berarti ia menolak, namun karena itu bukanlah yang terbaik untuk kita. Seorang teman mengatakan ”Mungkin saja ya Jeng, yang kamu anggap baik untuk kamu itu ternyata bikin orang lain susah atau timingnya saja yang belum tepat”.

Sebenarnya yang perlu kita lakukan hanyalah percaya kepada-Nya. Percaya tanpa syarat, tanpa tawar menawar, tanpa curiga. Memang dibutuhkan suatu totalitas kepercayaan yang luar biasa, yang tidak memerlukan logika untuk mencernanya. Kita hanya perlu yakin bahwa Tuhan tidak pernah mendatangkan sesuatu yang buruk untuk umat-Nya. Ia mengasihi kita secara luar biasa hebatnya. Ingat bahwa Ia memberikan putra-Nya supaya kita semua diselamatkan?

So don’t put a question mark when God puts a period! Percaya saja!
(dam)

Keep it simple, kiddo!

Yesterday, I have this chat with my old good friend. He used to work at the same office with me couple of years ago before taking up a new assignment in Cairo, Egypt. He was (and still is) my guru, the one who often gave me strong criticsm over my writing, but at the same time, he helped me to make it better. My writing is certainly far from good and sometimes when I enjoyed my time at writing, I could hear his voice in my head "Keep it simple, kiddo! What are you trying to say, the sentence is too long - break it down, it doesn't make sense...".

The chat I had with him was really encouraging me. I'm sharing it here to remind myself over and over again in the course of my journey of learning to write well. It is to also share with those of you who love writing and are in the beginning phase of doing it, just like me.

"....
IA: Hey, you web page is good. You should write some books.
Me: My web page? The blog?
IA: Yes, it has a lot of things.
Me: Naaaahh.... way from good!
IA: Yes it is good - and has some story lines. Look at it this way - another way to make some money
Me: Haha...most of them are in bahasa...and those in english are still lousy...
IA: You have imagination thay what people want to read start to write novels you blog page are collection of ideas, dreams, feeling, emotions now put then together and write a novel you can use you blog to collect ideas from others too ...and use them in your stories by adding the more imaginations....get my point ?
Me: You really have that confidence on me, don't you?
IA: Yes I do. Start in bahasa, then brush up english later.
Me: I hope I could share the same confidence...
IA: You should. You're a fighter, remember!
Me: A fighter with bad English..Hehe...Exactly just what my job requires it at best..
IA: Language is a long life learning process. You can start writing children's story books..
Me: That's really difficult
IA: Remember - who (readers) why (they want to read this) where (they want to be) what (they are wishing for) when (in their life) but write for the readers !!! Start...!
Me: You really got me, I start to think of starting it already...
IA: You can start with a normal beginning, then lead into normal Jakarta life, then make a twist (this is where the imagination comes to play and link them into normal life of people) then try to end with a bang (sometime happy sometime sad)
Me: Hey, why don't you write as well? You're really good at writing too... It could be a good change, other then dealing with all the machines, servers, computers...
IA: I can't write...too logical in thought process. Go on, start!
Me: Will do...but sometimes it comes with mood. When I was annoyed of something, then it was just flowing, and I couldn't stop of writing it down..
IA: Yeap, but remember you dont have to do this in one seating, use your BB to record your mood, then play back for your imagination to take over, voice recording , pictures etc. then go wild in your imagination and start writing section / chapter at a time, then link then in story line and flow.
Me: That's what I sometimes did...like in the train, I thought of something, then I typed it on my cell phone...like I was affraid that it will lose. Playing with imagination can be difficult, as I'm not used to it . Sometimes I wish I were sarcastic, that would be so much fun
IA: You can - just dream or go with wishes . example: remember your experience in life . the rest wil just follow one you start / ok may be not the first time but eventually you will get the hand of it
Me: Yes...sometimes when you read it over and over, you can suddenly have ideas to add in between...
IA: Yeap. Next time - you are on bus going home... look at the sights, backgrounds, people, their face, light, smells, etc and wonder off to WHAT they might be thinking and HOW their day have been and WHAT waits then at home...play around with imagination...
Me: Thank you so much for believing in me... I will definately give it a try...it may take a loooong time to finally complete it...but a journey of thousand miles is begun with one single step, right? And...hopefully it would be the one that I'm trying to find as what my passion is in life...
IA: Glad to hear that! Hey, I need to find some food now - hunger is catching up...keep in touch and chat later ~~
Me: Haha...go...go.... !
IA: Have a good weekend...
Me: You too...
IA: Bye for now...
Me: Bye..

To all of my friends (and me)....happy writing! :-)

Unconditional love? It does exist!

Malam ini saya ingin berbagi suatu tentang seseorang atau dua orang yang bernama orang tua. Kegelisahan saya ini berawal dari pengalaman saya pribadi dan juga beberapa teman yang sempat curhat ke saya, bagaimana frustrasinya mereka menghadapi bokap atau nyokap, atau bahkan keduanya. Ada yang bilang orang tua susah sekali dimengerti, ngga mau ngalah sama anaknya alias selalu mau menang sendiri, merasa paling segalanya, sangat protektif, terlalu menuntut suatu kesempurnaan dan lain-lain.

1. Sulit untuk dimengerti? Pepatah mengatakan “try to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes". Kalau kita bilang susah untuk mengerti orang tua, mungkin kita perlu sekali lagi bertanya pada diri kita, takaran atau standard siapakah yang kita pakai untuk mengerti orang lain itu? Standard kita kah? Kalau iya, berarti selamanya kita ngga akan pernah bisa mengerti orang lain. Kita bisa bilang orang tua tidak mengerti kalau anaknya perlu mengeluarkan pendapat dan ingin memutuskan sesuatu dalam hidupnya. Apakah benar itu? Pernahkah mencoba melihat dari hati dan kacamata mereka? Mungkinkah ada ketakutan dalam diri mereka bahwa kita akan melakukan kesalahan dengan keputusan kita dan akhirnya sengsara sendiri? Tidak semua orang bisa berpikir bahwa kadang seseorang perlu untuk “nyungsep” dulu untuk bisa bangun dan berjalan dengan gagah. Mereka kuatir bahwa hidup akan menyakiti kita ketika yang mereka inginkan hanyalah agar anaknya bahagia. Perlu diingat juga, jaman mereka mungkin berbeda dengan jaman kita, dan ngga semua orang tua hobi nonton CNN atau beredar di Facebook untuk melihat seperti apa kondisi berubah akhirnya apa yang mereka pikirkan dulu adalah valid untuk sekarang.

2. Ngga mau ngalah alias mau menang sendiri? Benarkah? Apakah itu ego dan emosi kita yang berbicara atau benar hati nurani kita yang dengan obyektif menilai saat kehendak kita dan mereka tidak sejalan? Apakah pernah kita mencoba untuk secara tenang dan tulus mendekati, meyakinkan dan memberikan pengertian terhadap mereka? Sehingga kekuatiran yang ada pada diri mereka sirna dan menyetujui apa yang kita ingin lakukan.

3. Merasa paling segalanya? Hohoho..!! Saya yakin ini adalah ego seorang anak yang berbicara. Pada dasarnya setiap orang memiliki naluri untuk selalu dapat merasa lebih dari yang lainnya. Lebih keren, lebih seksi, lebih pintar dll. Sesuatu yang wajar, jika tidak berlebihan dan tidak menyakiti sesama. Begitupun orang tua yang notabene adalah manusia biasa. Pada saat kondisi seperti ini, sebenarnya bisa kita manfaatkan. Benarkan mereka sehingga mereka merasa ego nya terpenuhi, kemudian kita bisa masuk untuk secara pelan ”merasuki” ide kita dalam pikiran mereka. Maka biasanya, mereka akan dengan suka hati membenarkan ide kita. Tergantung bagaimana cara kita memainkan peran kita. Ngga berhasil sekali? Coba lagi dan lagi, jika kita merasa itu adalah ide yang kayak diperjuangkan.

4. Protektif? Bukankah hal itu yang kita juga lakukan pada seseorang yang kita sayangi, baik sadar atau tidak? Orang tua adalah mereka yang memiliki kekayaan pengalaman hidup yang jauh lebih banyak dari kita dan mengetahui gimana hidup dapat sedemikian keras terhadap siapapun. Dan naluri sebagai orang tua yang mendorong mereka untuk seperti itu. Simply hanya untuk menjaga anaknya. Jika kadarnya sudah membuat kita cukup jengah dan gerah, yuk kita bertanya pada diri kita, apakah kita juga sudah cukup memberikan alasan yang kuat untuk menenangkan hati mereka? Bahwa kita akan baik-baik saja? Ataukah memang benar ketakutan mereka beralasan. Kita mau clubbing hingga pagi hari, tanpa mereka mengenal teman-teman kita, seperti apakah dunia clubbing itu, bagaimana transportasi pulang dan pergi ataukah memang benar kekuatiran mereka beralasan? Narkoba? Resiko kriminalitas yang mengancam? Apakah naruni tulus kita sanggup untuk menilai ini, naruni tanpa kekerasan ego?

5. Tuntutan suatu kesempurnaan? Siapapun di dunia ini pasti sadar bahwa prinsip ’nobody’s perfect’ itu benar adanya, lepas apakah itu akhirnya menjadi pembenaran atas kesalahan yang kita lakukan. Saya pribadi lebih percaya pada proses yang terbentuk dalam menuju suatu ”kesempurnaan”, bagaimana dalam setiap tahap proses tersebut, kita tumbuh dan berkembang, memacu untuk menjadi semakin baik. Mungkin inilah yang juga dirasakan oleh orang tua kita. Mencoba mendorong anaknya menjadi lebih dan lebih baik, tidak pernah berhenti.

Saat ini pasti yang terpikir di ”golongan anak” adalah saya yang terlalu memihak dan membenarkan orang tua (selain sok tahu tentunya). Sebenarnya ngga juga. Saya sadar sepenuhnya prinsip nomor 5 di atas. Namun saya juga sangat percaya dengan segala kelemahan orang tua sebagai manusia biasa, segala cara mereka yang mungkin sulit untuk kita pahami...saya percaya bahwa tidak ada cinta apapun sebesar cinta orang tua ke anaknya! Totally unconditional love! Namun, sayangnya saya mengetahui itu di saat semua sudah terlambat. Tidak ada kesempatan lagi untuk saya untuk juga belajar mengerti dan memahami orang tua saya dengan segala kekuatiran dan kelemahan mereka. Bahkan sedetikpun untuk dapat bilang kalau saya menyayangi mereka.

Jadi untuk teman-teman yang masih memiliki kesempatan itu, manfaatkanlah! Jangan pernah menunggu sedetikpun. Jangan sampai penyesalan yang saya miliki menimpa teman-teman juga. Percayalah, by the end of the day, segala perseteruan itu, segala kekesalan dan kemarahan kita tidak akan berarti! They do not matter at all!

**buat yg protes, iyaaa deeeeh...next time, I'll try put it from the point of view of the children ya...depend upon my mood, of course...hehehe...

Day 3: this is it!

Pheeewww...finally I got to reach the final day!

If I could slightly take it easy in the first two days, it was a whole different story on the third day, which was luckily the last and final day! Yeaaay..!! :-)

I practically couldn't do anything yesterday. My head was truly spinning around, my body was extremely weak, but I didn't feel any stomachache at all, which I initially thought I would. It was just the total weakness that got me so badly. I tried to drink more water, eat more fruits. It worked, for a while but then I felt week again. I spent most of the day laying down in bed or in front of TV.

That was one of the reasons why I didn't update this blog last night like in the previous two days.

This morning, I took two glass of waters and a slice of wheat breath with mixed-fruits jam. All the dreams of eating nasi padang, mie goreng, pempek, etc... have gone in astray! Hmm...temporarily? :-)

So from that 3-day refraining from one of the world's greatest gifts (food!), what am I gonna get? Well, today I feel a way much lighter in my body weight. My belly becomes flatter (oops! there you go, I just revealed one secret). But unfortunately, I just got the fact from Internet: In the initial period of eating fruit, weight loss can be drastic, but this will only happen for a while for once the body has done nature’s work, it will naturally gain weight... oh, poor me...!

However, I believed that the benefits that I would get from this detox would not happen in the short term but it would be an investment in the long run. 20 years of McDonald can not be cleansed in just 3 days! Oh I wish it could be that easy! It would take times and investments, which at least I have just made one. I just need to monitor and maintain "my investment" so that I one day I could reap the benefit with multiple value....keep my finger tightly crossed! :-)

Thanks to my friend, Ricky who have introduced me to this cleansing method.
This afternoon, let's wish that my weakness will go away so that I could go hanging out with Nitto and the rest gank.

Day 2: the battle is not yet over...

This is the second day of my detox.

It was getting so much harder. I started to think, would it be easier to do it during working days, not in a holiday like now? So I would have so many things to distract my attention. Then I realized perhaps it was just one of so many perfect reason to call it a day!

Let's talk about the temptation that I have to fight today. It was begun with a dream last night. Yes, it was true when people said if you want something badly, you would even sleep and dream on it. In my case, I wish I would never have that dream. What was my dream? I dreamed that I was in the middle of great party with friends all around and, unfortunately, with the food showering around. You name it: a crunchy pempek palembang with that black sour sauce, Chinese mie goreng with that delicious smell, a pack of nasi padang with rendang and creamy vegetable and green chili.... hahaha...kindda confuse what was the party I was at... the food didn't really represent a party!

Then I woke up (with growling stomach) and the fresh memory of that dream, just to start my day. I went to check Facebooks (FB) and found some funny and silly comments from friends over some photos (really fun) and I gladly joined the troops. It was fun! I also run through some of my friends FB status who were 90% talked about 'Lebaran' traditional showering food! Ketupat, opor, rendang, sambal goreng ati, kaastengels... did they really have to put all those stuffs in their status, so I thought? Of course, they did! Well, I certainly would! It was a true happiness, it was a living...!

I decided to turn on the TV. I hope to see some entertaining show or great movies to keep my mind busy. But you know what? I forgot that it's Saturday! Most of TV stations put up the cooking show in most of their morning show! So I had no choice but watching Chef Farah demonstrated the recipe of (again) lebaran typical food with all the details of creamy look, the ingredients to tell audience what the taste would like. Not only that, she also shared how to cook the lovely milky pudding...Whoaaa! Pudding! It was mostly the first thing to grab when I was in any wedding reception or office function! That's it. I walked away from TV.

Then I went joining my brother in the back terrace, thinking to have a light chat with him and distract my attention. I felt hungry and grabbed some melon in fridge as my breakfast. While we were chatting, he too had a breakfast. A real one! Nasi goreng with hot omelet, smoked beef sausage and some kerupuk. Hmmm... I could hold my breath but that smell was reeaaaaaallyy good! Soon he finished it up, he started to have a steamed noodle, an overcooked one which was my favorite. That's it! I couldn't take it anymore. I went to shower.

In the afternoon, my brother went out to see some old friends. I could have joined him since he'd go to some shopping malls and perhaps make a call to meet some of my friends too, but that would be a way much bigger risk failing to refuse the temptation, with all those food stalls like KFC, the salty french fries, chicken floss from Bread Talk, tuna crepes, hot coffee... no! I decided to stay at home.

If TV couldn't help me, then why not playing some DVDs? As all the morning stuffs didn't enough to 'torture' me, why all the sudden the SATC and Glee movies series should also join the troops? Sigh.... It was about the girls hanging out in a cafe for coffee, a guy ordering a biig portion of burger or simply the act of eating and chewing some foods really dragged me to even a greater hunger.

It was heavily raining outside, so I turned off the un-supportive TV and took a nap. But... damn! Again! I had those dreams! Over and over again. I woke up at 4 pm, had some water and slept again, hoping that this time it would not be about food dreaming again. But I was so damn wrong.
I went to FB again, thinking that the euphoria of lebaran food festive was now over. Yes, the lebaran food party is over, but don't get it wrong... it just changed to others! They who have got enough with milky meals and all ketupat things, turned to some light soup like hot meal balls soup, dim sum with the hot chili or sup iga sapi. They were all loud and clear about that!

Poor me... the whole universe didn't seem to support me, but I would not give up. It's only one day left...Strongly hope that I would not end up with revenge at the end and eat like crazy... counting on what Ricky said, that it would make my appetite re-set again....fingers crossed!

Day 1: An apple a day? Think again...

For some years I have never considered my health into account. I ate whatever tasted great, drank anything that satisfied my thirst (or simply wanted to have a try on the mixed ingredients), ate any kind of meals without having so much worry in timing - I could ate a full basket of nasi goreng by midnight and then went straight to bed. Not a single worry hit me...

Until that one moment. It was when my brother was sent to ER at 11pm for an extreme pain in his chest, his heart. I was totally dumbstruck! We have a rather similar health history - a never-on-normal-level of cholesterol. I guess it goes in the gene, but blame it to anything. It got me scared and brought me to go check to lab of my blood chemical...voilaaaa.... it's 240! Fyi, normal level is 200 and I have never been below that level.

So here I am now, deciding to take full advice of a friend, Ricky Atmaja, who has spent almost an hour of his Friday morning to preach me about the importance of health and introduced me to detoxification (or detox, for short) as one of so many ways to cleanse my body.

He challenged me to take a full three day of consuming nothing but fruits and water, and really nothing but those stuffs. "What is so difficult about that? It's a piece of cake for me....veerrry easy!". But those words just successfully ate me back!

I compared this Detox program was like cleaning up my workstation. Challenging! Those of you who really knew me at work (or simply by looking at my working desk) would certainly understand what I meant about this analogy... hehe..

Today was just my first day. I started my day with two glasses of water then had a lunch and dinner with papaya. Only those stuffs went through my stomach. Nothing else. Did you think it was easy? Have a try then... Not only it got your appetite of (any) food become extremely (yes, extremely!) bigger that you see some 'peyek teri' was like looking at a biiiig cheesy and fully-fruity cheese cake, but also it got your tamper. I became easily to get annoyed for a very small stuff....you could ask my brother about this.

During my afternoon lay-down, in order to keep my mind occupied (rather than thinking about how nice those kastengels cookies, smokey 'bandeng', a slice of choco cake in fridge, a yummy chitato cheese, etc), I have this rather frightening realization that our body can really absorb everything we drink, eat, and breathe. So every cup of coffee, every spoon of creamy corn soup, every sip of cappuccino, every bite of a sirloin steak, every portion of spaghetti carbonara (best one!), or very breath of air, polluted or otherwise is pulled into our body and processed by our liver. The good taste actually reached only until your throat, the rest your body who will suffer. But that short route was the one that gave us a satisfaction, happiness, great mood...you name it everything as a good effect of having great food (great friends is a bonus)

So the battle is even far to finish. I still have two more days to go.... *sigh...* Tomorrow my menu will be melon and apple. Hopefully by doing it during the Lebaran holiday, it is the right decision.

An apple a day? think again....

I miss rice... and anything that comes with it...hahaha...