A boss called Gupta

Through many occasions, I have often heard friends shared with me about their bosses. Some of them find their relationship with their managers are easy, but some find it quite challenging. I personally believe a well-managed relationship with your boss will ease your working life and help your professional and personal development. Yes, you and your boss have that "power" to make it happen. If not, change your job…..or your boss, if you can :)

I'm writing this as suddenly I kindda miss working with my former boss, who has resigned from the company approx. 8 months ago after 3 years of service.

I feel truly blessed to have the opportunity to work with (not 'for') my former boss, Gupta Sitorus. He is just the same age with me so forget about the formal salutation like "Bapak" or "Mas" or "Mister", just call him by his name "Gupta", he insisted. He is indeed a communication expert whose experience spanned over various playgrounds, making him the expert in this area. I think as an individual, he was also born with good inter-personal communications skills.




Gupta - the pan man

Guess what he was dong....

Employee Day 2013

Working with Gupta was such a joy ride (well, sometimes it could be a tiring hilly trip, when workloads were piling, but again it's because of work, not him), and it was more than worth taking, it was a life-changing experience. Despite his imperfection as human being, I'm thankful to have the opportunity to learn a lot from him, professionally and personally.

I know by heart that Gupta is a kind person. Why is this important? Because you deal with human. Because you are working together as a team to accomplish same goal and you have to build trust and respect. For me, these can't be built only based on your competencies (since it is about working relationship), but also your personal integrity. I need to trust and respect the people I'm working with, and happy to find these qualities in Gupta.

Gupta brought with him a great enthusiasm and refreshed spirit to the work, and these two can be contagious things. He has the passion about what he was doing and believed in what he was trying to accomplish. He added fun and excitement doing it. He made me (and perhaps some other people too) wanted to join the ride.

The other side of him

Just like anyone else, there were times that I also made some silly mistakes in performing my work. They sometimes caused inconvenience to the people, to the company and to him as my boss, but never had he thrown me under the bus. He stood right in front of the bus, but in the other hand he also coached me to keep things from recurring.

I didn't get the fear to work but kept alert and clear mind on whatever works I was working on. To him, everything has to have a solid reason why certain decision or choice was made, then we could argue.

Me with Gupta and my beautiful colleague, Vanesha

Gupta is who he is, all the time. I didn't think I have ever caught him lying to cover up his mistakes, nor making false promises. Yes, he often forgot things, probably it’s because of age factor (oops!). I didn’t remember I have ever spent extra energy to figure out what is his hidden agenda (if any), or guessed what would be his next move. I simply believed that he only wanted to give his best to work, encouraged his team to perform at their best.

One of the many stories I can remember is when we were working on an event, back in 2013. It was an outdoor factory groundbreaking ceremony in Tangerang. Every bits and pieces of the preparation had been done and we were so confident things would go as planned, except that it was raining heavily, just 30 minutes before we started! Guests, BoD, journalists, customers, colleagues already came down to the factory office (The center stage of the event was mainly outdoor). The rain was so heavy that it completely demolished our backdrop, turned the ground into a small pond, and poured the seating area with nothing, but water. Everything wet, everything collapsed!! I looked down from office window completely dumbfounded. When I looked at him, he was as cheerful as nothing bad happened. He simply said "Gila ya, trid ujannya gede banget!", while I almost screamed in my head "Mateeekk...gimana iniii??!!##$@. Calmly, Gupta asked the office boys and factory technicians to clean the area when the rain stopped, and do whatever it was still possible to erect the backdrop, banners and other elements. And we ran the event successfully. There was also another funny story: "Dapat salam dari microwave"

Ah, it was so fun working with him.

Before he left the company, "Trid, my last word of advice for you personally is that you should never ever undermine yourself. You are smart, Trid. You have all it takes to work in this communications field. I'm really really sorry for not being able to stay longer”.

So Gup, here is for you (raise a goblet of beras kencur for a toast). Thank you for the enchanting and fulfilling three years. I wish you all the very best (and luck!) :)

Dapat salam dari microwave! :-)

Cerita ini diangkat dari kisah nyata yang senyata-nyatanya terjadi di suatu siang di awal bulan Juli 2013 di kantor Tangerang, dimana saya dan atasan saya tengah sibuk mempersiapkan acara ground breaking pembangunan perluasan pabrik di Tangerang. Buat saya, percakapan ini sungguh sangat lucu sekali - iyaaa, iyaa...penggunana kata "sungguh sangat sekali" itu redundant, gapapa deh yaa, biar sedep aja! :-)

Jadi ceritanya gini:

Siang itu sebelum acara dimulai, para top manajemen dan media sedang menikmati santap siang dengan setting prasmanan dengan orang-orangnya berdiri. Ketika saya lagi asyik makan, bos saya, sebutlah namanya GS, nyamperin saya dan bertanya:

GS: "Trid, microwave ada kan ya?"

Me: "Ada kok, itu ada di pojok meja"

GS: "Lha, kenapa taruh di sini?" ("Sini" maksudnya adalah di lantai 2)

Me: "Lho, memang kenapa kalau ditaruh di sini?"

GS: " Kok ngga ditaruh di bawah aja?" ("Bawah" mengacu tempat acara ground breaking akan berlangsung")

Me: "He? Kok di bawah? Buat apaan?"

GS: "Lha ya buat acaranya dong, Trid"

Me: "Buat acaranya gimana?" *makin bingung*

GS: "Ya buat acara nanti dong, Astriiiiiddd....."

Me: @#$%? (terdiam dengan tampang bego, tetap ngga ngerti)

GS: "Ya buat bantu loe nge-lead acaranya, 'Trid..."

Me: "Nge-lead acara gimana sih? Apa hubungannya?"

GS: "Ya emangnya loe bawain acaranya ga perlu pake itu apa?"

Me: "Loe lagi ngomongin apa yah, Gup? Microwave kok buat acara?"

GS: "Microphone, Astriiiiiiddddd.....!!!"

Me: "Yeee..tadi loe bilangnya microwave tauuu..."

Both: "Hahahahaa...!!"

Inilah dua orang yang kerja di bagian komunikasi mengalami total miscommunication! :-D

The broken washing machine and 'ngupi' time

These past two days have been one of the most challenging days in my entire working life. It wasn't such a pleasant thing and it is not the thing that I want to share here. During that unfortunate moment, I found something fun and entertaining (at least for me).

Still in office, 8:50pm, sitting blankly at my messy cubicle and feeling nothing at all. Still dumb-founded with what just happened in the office. Suddenly my mobile phone rang. It was the call from one of my good friends Yanti.

Yanti: "Halo? Halo??? Kucrit?? Halooo...woy...!! Lo bisa denger suara gue ngga?? (Dengan suara kenceng)
Astrid: Iya, Yan...kenapa? (suara yg lemes)
Yanti: "Haloooo.....hoooy?? Kucriiit....!! Lo denger suara gue gaaa? (Suara sopran level dua belas)
Astrid: "Denger, Yan...kenapa?" (suara lemes sambil pengen jitak kepala si Yanti)
Yanti: "Halo?? Trit...bodo deh, denger ga denger gue ngomong ajah....mesin cuci gue kenapa ya, airnya ga mau masuk nih ke tabung mesin cucinya, kenapa yah...ga beres nih...ni mesin kan baru jg dua minggu, masa udah ngadat gini...kaga beres nih...kenapa ya, trit?" (mrepet kayak petasan cabe rawit)
Astrid: .....?? (pingsan stadium 4)

And there she was. Blabbering about her new lovely washing machine as if I was the technician that should haven known what went wrong with the machine, while I was struggling to stabilize my emotion. This girl sometimes can be so "amazing" (in a good way) ^_^v

The madness at work continued way much worse the next day. All the frustration, anger, fear, sadness and confusion came at much bigger speed and gravity level, that hardly bounced me back to the ground. And there was another call from Yanti, but this time I asked her to call my direct line to save me from screaming over my mobile phone because of the unstable signal of one service provider at my office building.

There was me, Yanti and Nitto on the conference line.

.......cutting the story short.....
Yanti: "Eh Trit, konfrenin juga si Chris dong..tu anak pasti lagi miting jam segini...kita recokin aja"
Nitto: "Emang elu, Yan...jam 10 pagi, bukannya kerja malah nangkring luluran di salon..."
Yanti: "Eh, gue kan ijin sakit tu hari...salahnya bos gue, dia percaya"
Astrid: "Kalo si Chris ngomel, tanggung jawab lu ye... gue sambungin bentar"
Yanti: "Iyee...kaga bakalan marah tu anak...paling mrepet doang..."

*dialing Chris' mobile number"

Chris: "Halo...." (suara galak)
Astrid: "Hoy, Chris...gue konfren in ye sama anak2, ada Yanti ama Nitto"

*dialing back to confrence line where Yanti and Nitto was laughing out loud over some silly things*

Yanti: "Woooii...Chris, lg ngapain lu? Meeting yak...hahaha...kita juga lg miting nih, mikirin ntar malem hang out kemane enaknya"
Nitto: "Dimane"
Yanti: "Kita ngupi2 aja..."
Astrid: "Ogah kalo cuma ngupi, gue lapaaarr...kudu makan berat"
Nitto: "Iya, daerah Kuningan aja, kaga 3in1"
Yanti: "Iya, bawel ye...atau hari Sabtu aja?"
Nitto: "Ga bisa wiken, family time.."
Yanti: "Halah, tau ga, anak loe juga empet tauk liat elu...ge'er aja lu"
Nitto: "Siakul..."
Chris: "ostopiloh...gue barusan rijek telpon emak gue karena gue lg di miting, dan sekarang gue kudu angkat tlp kalian yg ternyata cekikian ga jelas doang...bener2 ya lu orang pada. Bbm in gue aja dimana, jam berapa ntar malem" *Klik tutup telp*
*Bengong*

Those two calls might sound like just any ordinary calls, nothing special. But somehow, it was one of the things that have actually managed to bring back my sanity. Thanks, guys....and also thanks for the support and encouragement over the dinner and the 'ngupi' time... Yes, you're right...that's life...that's just one of the things in life...get over it and move on...keep going... :)

Dearest Papa...

I would have to agree on the saying - which previously I thought it was too clumsy. It says that never ever wait to say love to the people that you really care about and meant it on every words, because we will never know if we are ever going to have that opportunity again.

Now regret is all I have for failing to say it to you, the top-notch father that a daughter could ever wish for.

Never could I imagine my life without all the values that you've taught me. From you I learn the value of hard work, perseverance, resilience and faith in God. Even if you did not verbally teach me, your life was surely a living testimony. And this will always stay in me.

When I got hesitations over a decision I would have to make my own, you were there supporting me. You made me see the positive and consequences of each option. Even if I made mistakes, never you judged me, instead you showed me how to do it better in the future.

When I was tired, you welcomed me with outstretched arms, letting me feel secured and home. Without speaking ill, you listened to every story I shared (from which you knew every single friends of mine), every laughter I shared, every tears I shed (well...not every tears, there were few that I saved it myself especially when I was brokenhearted).

I can still remember the Sunday morning mass, sitting in the second or third row from the altar, hearing your voice praising and sometimes you got sleepy during the preach. You know, Pa..there's little part of my heart being grateful for the church renovation for I don't think I can go to church and see the same seating row, without you..

I know by heart that you are watching me and never leave me throughout the rest of my journey in this life. Thank you for all the life you gave me, all the values and experience that have been imparted with me. They have been my shield and armor in my life.

With all my love,

Your daughter.

Note: Tulisan ini ditulis saat mengenang 1000 hari kepergian Papa (Feb 2011).

Daniel Henney

My first encounter with this adorably handsome man and the most gorgeous man on earth, Daniel Henney, was in one Korean movie, which I forgot what title was. It was about two men who fell in love with one woman...hmm...a very typical kind of Korean movie, romance. But I'm not going to talk about the movie. It is about that man! Yeaay!

His next movie, My Father, was not really touchy, but his acting in that movie got all my thumbs (and toes) altogether! He acted as a son who tried to look for his bilogical father who was prisoned, or something along that line. I don't really remember. His acting when he shout and released his feeling was really awesome! And still looked great though :-)

Then it was on my flight from Bangkok to Bangalore in 2007 when I watched his "Seducing Mr Perfect" movie. I was totally wholly and fully dumbstrucked! The movie was so funny and very very entertaining. In that movie, he acted as a business man, a killer in M&A business who has to work together with a local korean girl. Going through a lot with the girl, he eventually fell in love with her (very predictable huh?!). Today I watched this movie again through DVD for like the 100th times! (lebay! hehe...).

Here is a brief about him - taken from wikipedia:

Daniel Henney was born to an Korean American mother and anAmericanfather of Irish descent. Henney started modeling in the U.S. in 2001 and has worked in France, Italy, Hong Kong and Taiwan while attending college. After his debut in South Korea with an advertisement for the Amore Pacific's cosmetic "Odyssey Sunrise", he became a spokesperson for commercials for Olympus cameras and for Daewoo Electronics's Klasse air conditioners.

Despite speaking no Korean, Henney became a household name through the South Korean hit TV drama, My Name is Kim Sam Soon. He later learned a bit of the language and appeared on a few variety shows. Henney was a part of an academic scandal in which many sources stated that he had an Economics degree from the University of Illinois at Chicago to bolster his image, while in actuality he had no college degree.

In 2009, he portrayed Agent Zero in the film X-Men Origins: Wolverine. In the fall season of 2009, he is playing "Dr. David Lee" in the CBS television drama, "Three Rivers".

In 2010, Henney had decided to return to South Korea television for KBS2's The Fugitive: Plan B.

a little bit about me...

Person you have feelings for shows up at your house, you..? yang pasti ya disuruh masuk sambil hati dag did dug duerrr... :-)

Did you sleep alone last night? setahu gue sih iya, ngga tahu deh kalau ada yg ngga keliatan ikutan di nangkring kamar *oh no!”

Ever loved someone who wasn’t good for you? I believe everyone deserves to be loved, but when they can’t get along, it just simply doesn’t work, not because they are not good *jadiiii….kesimpulannya apa yah?? Hehe…*

Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine dong...

What was the last thing someone said to you? "lagi ngapain, nek….sepi amat ga ada suaranya? Lagi dimana?”

Interested in anyone? Always! There are always interesting thing to see in everyone..

Has anyone tried making you look bad in the past week? hmm...ada! kondektur bus yang udah teriak berkali2 ke semua penumpang "uang pas yaa!!" tapi gue asyik bbm-an sm Elisa dan ga denger. Alhasil, pas gue kasih uang 50rb-an, dia melototin gue dan gue dengan tampang bego ngeliatin balik sambil mikir "kenapa ya ini orang, galak amat ngeliatin gue...". Baru nyadar lama sesudahnya pas doi teriak2 lagi...

Have you ever held hands with the opposite sex? Yeap!

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Tergantung kali ya…tp yg namanya kepercayaan susye pastinya utk dibangun kembali once it was broken

Are you a jealous person? hmmm… got motivated mungkin iya, tapi jealous? hmmm…

Is there anyone that hates you right now? Jiaah..meneketehe! Mungkin… tp yang benci gue apalagi kalau tanpa alasan pasti rugi sendiri, karena gue ga peduli…hehehe…

Want someone back in your life? Absolutely! My dad and my mom!

Who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? No body… ngga seru hidup ini nantinya :)

Did you kiss anyone last night? Nope…

How long did it take for you to fall asleep last night? Hmmm..let me see… less than 5 mins! Ngantuk gila semalem tuh…langsung tepar begitu nempel bantal.

Your opinion on drugs? Not good tapi beberapa kasus katanya bisa menyembuhkan asal ngga kecanduan aja!

Do you find smoking unattractive? Biasa aja..tp sebel kalo ada yg ngerokok di ruang tertutup dan AC pula...

Do you do drugs? Never and don’t have intention to…

Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning? Luckily no..

Do you believe love lasts forever? Kata orang sih, cinta Tuhan ke umatnya, cinta orang tua ke anak-anaknya dan sinetron Cinta Fitri….yg terakhir ngga bangetttt…!! ;p

Do you have any tattoos? Sekarang sih ngga tapi berpikir seru juga kayaknya

Does anyone know your password besides you? ngga tuh…pernah sekali dan orang itu ketawa ngakak begitu tahu betapa noraknya password gue… ;)

Are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? When it happened, felt like my world was tearing apart but it taught me to be strong and stronger…yeah!! Prikitiieew…!

Do you let your animals sleep in the house? Ngga ah, walaupun pingin banget punya anjing tapi ga mau repot ngerawatnya….*jadi maunya apa ya?*

Do you wish you had someone’s girlfriend/boyfriend? Only George Clooney… gosh! He is so gorgeous! Look at those eyes and his smile! *wake up, Astrid!*

Anything annoying you right now? Now? Laper aja sih… tapi males makan… *orang yg aneh*

Where is your biological mother right now? Mudah2an sih lagi kencan sama bokap di surga :)

Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating is okay? Probably, still not sure about white lie though…

Is your best friend a slut? hohoho…no! The sweetest one, in fact, walaupun kadang bawelnya kadang bikin pengeng kuping! :-)

Do you want something to change in the next month? Pingin punya meja kerja di kantor yang rapi, ngga berantakan…. Ada yang bilang “mission impossible” tuh! hiks... :)

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? Chitato - supreme cheese flavor…best one ever!

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew? Nope… the one and only Matthew I know is my good friend’s 6 years old son.. hmm.. why Matthew? not other names...

Is the person you last texted single? Udah married… to my sister in law :)

How often do you straighten your hair? Never! It’s straight already.

Describe how you feel right now in one word? Laper! (konsisten...)

What color shirt are you wearing? Now? White... with the little ghost Casper picture

What was the first thing to make you smile today? A status of my friend in his FB. It was about his ex boss’ driver who misunderstood what his driver was saying. “my sound death” to “my son is dead”…. then imagining his face.... A whole big bucket of laughter!

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you? My big brother

Plans for the weekend? ngumpul sama tim organizing committee-nya toasmaster convention terus janjian jalan sama my dear cousin... dan seneng krn my big brother will be home this weekend...yaayy!! hmmm....ngapain ya...minta dia benerin lampu belakang, benerin kran kamar mandi, ngecek atap teras belakang yg ngerembes kalo ujan...ahh! ga penting amat yah...

Do you miss anyone? Yes, always! My dad…

How’s your hair right now? baik-baik saja, udah gerah pengen potong sebenernya, tapi belum sempet

What do you currently hear right now? Nothing in particular…

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? No..

Do you curse in front of your parents? Never as far as I recall, but I did share with my dad about all the things in my life, including the frustrating one, but never cursing! He wouldn’t let me anyway.

Do you like calling or texting better? Tergantung sama siapa dan keperluannya apa, hehehe… *sama kayak Inez*

When was the last time you cried really hard? Why? The one which was eally hard? last year, missing my dad to the bone! tapi lately nangis lagi (cengengnyaa...), karena nahan akumulasi marah dan frustrasi karena ngga bisa juga ngertiin orang yang gue pikir ngga masuk akal, jadinya gue yang frustrasi sendiri… rugi amat yah… :p

Where is your biological father right now? Hopefully with my mom in heaven :)

Was yesterday better than today? ngga juga, bahkan hari ini menu makan pagi, siang sampai malam pun lebih enak dari kemarin *kenapa makanan mulu yaaa…*

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Never regret of what happened as it has all worked to bring me to this very moment… taelaaaa…. cuiiit..cuiit..

What items could you not go without during the day? duit dan hp… *sama kayak Inez*

If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find? sms2 mulai dari yg penting ampe ga penting *lagiii…. sama kayak Inez*

Can you easily tell if someones fake? tergantung orgnya. klo gue dah kenal baik sih biasanya bisa.. *sama lagi kayak Inez....elo aja deh yg nulis, Nez...hehe..*

How’s your heart? In a good shape, beating nicely…

Beating with one heart...

Organizing a company event was none of a new thing for me. Cooking on the concept, and then planning, budgeting and organizing, etc - whether it was one time shot or sometimes I would have to re-do again and again for each phase - was a normal process that anyone dealing with event organization would have to go through.

But, for me, one thing that would make a difference was the team, the people that you work with to make the event successful. And this year, I was truly blessed to have the privilege to work together with these great colleagues as the organizing committee (OC). The team consisted of colleagues who came from different walk of life but made the same commitment, to do whatever it takes (hmmm...sound a bit scary) to make the 2010 Employee Day hit a success.

Back from left: Annisa, Oveldo, Elisa, pak Lim, Erna, Lia, Ray

Front from left: Verra, Randy, Maria Astrid, Camelia, Yudhi and me

Virtually: Inez (kemana dirimuuuu?)

They definately were not the people who did not have anything to do or less busy than the others, nor were they would like to achieve praise and compliments over what they would have done. Together we tried to comprehend and recognize the diverse strengths and abilities in our group setting and then applying them to one final solution.

Meetings, discussions, exercising, sharing frustration and confusion were among the things that we did during the preparation and in between of all the routine work commitment that we still need to do. However, in all of those, we'd never lose the apetitite to have fun, throw some jokes and teasing one another especially when the stress reached the high level.

So here is a tribute to all my mates and colleagues who have shown a strong commitment and dedication until we finally presented a beautiful moment in Ayer Island. So proud to work with you and an honor to be part of this great team!

Yudhi, my partner in crime, whose "kegalakannya" was always reliable (peace yo, Pak...). That was truly shown that during the event, he was one of the most 'galak' person who would without any doubt bite anyone that would distract the event. We mostly played 'bad cop' and 'good cop' when dealing with several parties :-)

Oveldo and Ray, the transportation coordinators who dealt with boat arrangement, one among other crucial areas that really required high attention. I remembered when the whole scenario was suddenly changed at pier and people were queuing (all at once!), but they both managed it very well with close coordination to one another. The same case for the return route (island - pier)

People said that leave all the F&B things to women. They're the best! Well, that was really true. Camelia and Erna were two of the experts in this area. They selected and formulated the menu to ensure that everybody would have the energy throughout the day.

People love appearance! That have had inspired Verra to do her best in designing the tshirts and caps. Dealing with every details (color, materials, images, suppliers etc) was all she has gone through to produce beautiful outfits that would be the identity of this event, a common uniform.

Group performance competition! I love this idea since the beginning it was brought up in our first OC meeting. Over weeks, this idea continued to be developed to a strong concept and ready for selling to all employees. Oveldo, Inez and Elisa were the backbone of this session as well as the committee performance which successfully got a roaring applause from employees. I must say that it was not easy to encourage people in several divisions and office location to work together and come out with a team-work performance, but you made it, guys! Miss all the nite times together at studio! (and still missing 'pisang ijo', Mo'e?)

She might be a new comer in the organization, but her ability to stay focus among all the bustles and huzzles was something that amazed me at all times. Dealing with the every-minutes-changing registration was quite challenging, but Maria Astrid (someone called her "Astrid muda"... Oh, I really hate Oveldoooo, huhuuu!!) managed it very well. She also supported in dealing with suppliers to ensure all delivered on time.

Randy - the bayi sehat, was one who could stay calm and was very helpful. He dealt with all the supporting equipment and relinquished his Friday night to be in the island one day before the event to ensure everything was in place, the way it was planned. Hope you had a wonderful stay together with the boys, Ran... sure that Pepenk and Dicxon were not harmful having you with them :-)

Oh by the way, a very nice performance and outfit during the cabaret! hahaha....!

Annisa and Lia, who regretfully couldn't fit the costume of Barney and Chiki, stood bravely at the entrance gate, being the first power to welcome the people and among the first troops who arrived at site when it was still dawn!

Pak Pras, despite all the shocking of last minute incident, had provided a great support being the speaking partner and coordinator for Cibitung team. It must be quite challenging to coordinate around 150 staffs all in your hands! Bravo!

And so many other colleagues who have worked day and night: The ABB band, Pepenk and Dicxon, Puri - the singing girl, Hepy who had helped in organizing the tshirt distribution, Mbak Najah who had been nicely involved in cabaret and being the escort in the island - really loved when you say "welcome to the island"... yaaay! Really felt as it was indeed our island!

Like everything in life, this event too had two sides of a coin. The success came also with some minor setbacks, but one thing for sure, my mind stays the same, being so glad to have the opportunity to work with all of you and sincerely convey my gratitude for all support you have given me tremendously and... for beating with one heart!

Hats off to you all!

I'm looking forward to working with all of you again in the future in more exciting projects. Family Day 2011?? :)) Early birds for commitee application is opened...now..! :))

Mbok Suminah – a picture of simplicity

My trip to my mom’s hometown and my parents’ resting place, Solo, every year has always brought met to meet this lady. Her name is Mbok Suminah. She is the second generation of a family who looks after the grave yard that belongs to my big family (from my mom’s side). It is located in a small and serene village, Mandungan, 15-20 minutes from the city center. There lies my parents, my grandparents, aunties and some distant relatives that I hardly know for their live some years back.

If you are imagining someone in mid fifty in a traditional suit and always speak in local language, well...you get that right! She is in every thing you would imagine of a traditional Javanese lady. She hardly speaks Bahasa Indonesia but I guess communicating has gone through far from only language barrier.

Early this year, I went to Solo by myself, something that I’ve never done before. I always went there with the whole troops of the big family. But that time, I thought I wanted to be alone with my (late) dad. So I went there.

When I first got the entrance of the cemetery, my sight was caught on a lady who suddenly got up from her sleep under a tree. Yeap! She was sleeping in the mid of the very quite cemetery. Although it was not as spooky as any public cemetery would be, but the idea of taking a nap there, was never even on my wildest dream.

She warmly welcomed me, as usual, and escorted me to come inside. I tried to speak with her with my very broken Javanese language. Then there came her report of who have recently visited. When I “talked” to my dad, she just sat quietly few meters from me. That lasted for about an hour. She just sat there without any distracting moves, she simply accompanied me.

When I finished, she told me not to cry about my dad anymore, instead I should be happy that he’s now resting in peace. That I should always pray for him, for it was one of the important thing that can help my dad up there. If I were in any problem or being in an unease life phase, my dad would always be there. He wouldn’t leave me alone. That is the thing I should remember. I heard all those advice so many times from so many people who cared about me, but having them from someone like her, I felt differently. I didn’t know why. Perhaps it was her sincerity that has touched my heart in her own way or perhaps because I was in a very sentimental situation (being with my dad in my own time without all people around me).

My second visit fell two days after the first one. She was cleaning the cemetery when I got there. She smiled and greeted me, saying she had been waiting for me. I went directly to my dad and spent there for next one hour. She continued of cleaning. When I finished my “chat”, she came and sat next to me. She said that it was OK to cry but don’t let your tears fall on my dad’s grave. The conversation continued to her sharing of her life. She said that she just had unfortunate incidents that her son-in-law got accident with her motorcycle but things were now better. She also shared how she lost her mother and then 2 months later, her father.

My curiosity forced me to shoot her questions. How did she feel being attached to a cemetery? Wasn’t she afraid? Was her life affected?

She answered me with stories, a rather-spooky one. She told me that seeing some ‘unrest souls’ come to her house and wandering around or one afternoon when she saw one Japanese troops complete with all the weapons and uniforms worn during their invasion to Indonesia in 1940s, were nothing that came to a surprise anymore! Gee..! I would have been dumbstrucked and passed out immediately!!

Her dreams were to see her children live happily in their own way, to see her grandchildren grow every single day, to serve her commitment to her work (being the gatekeeper of a cemetery). The cleaning thing was her routine activity, then cooking afterward or playing with her grand kids, day after day. She was happy and fulfilled. She just wanted to live her life as what she has understood from her religion, so that by the end of the day, she wish to face God gracefully.

For few seconds, I envied what she has in her life – certainly not the looking ghost part! How life can be so calm, how days can go without having so much worries or strong pressure from the people, or high expectation that you would have to fulfill, how things are easily manageable without too much disruption, how she could see life as beautiful as God has granted her for and for it will stay like that forever

What is it like, living in simplicity?

I don’t think having no obsession in live would count; neither living in poverty will support you better to live simply; or probably the personal taste of frugality contributes something to a simple life. Is it living with simple job with less stress, having less friends and no social activities, reflect to less problems and thus create a simpler life?

What is simplicity? It is probably like happiness which teaches us of the joy seeing life as beautiful as it was meant to be, to overcome problems as natural part in life that would come and go, to relieve the ultimate possession over things. It is also probably like happiness. It is a game in our mind. And by all things happened to our life, it teaches to be grateful! Be grateful as in the gratitude, it lies a strength, that help you to see life as the greatest gift. Think simple and live simply.

One fine day....in Dufan! :-)

Hari itu hari libur tanggal merah di bulan Maret, hari Selasa pula, hari raya Nyepi kalau ngga salah. Niat hati awalnya mau “menyepi” juga, tidur seharian di rumah, nyetel dvd, tidur lagi, makan…. Tapi ajakan tiga orang krucil ini rasanya terlalu sayang untuk dilewatkan begitu saja. Alhasil hari itu dengan mengerahkan segenap kekuatan bangunlah jam 6 pagi (hari libur bangun pagi? Duh!!) dan berangkaaattt.... ke dufan! What? Dufan?? Hari gene masih ke Dufan?@##% Siapapun yang mengaku warga Jakarta dan sekitarnya pasti sudah pernah ke tempat ini, mulai dari umur 10 tahun yang coba-coba gajah bledug sampai umur 20 tahun-an yang menjajal adrenalin di Halilintar (yang sebelum ada Tornado dan Histeria, terhitung paling menantang kekuatan jantung kita).

Dari kiri: Simon, Elisa Mo'e, Elisa's sister, me, Ricky(rick)

Satu hari terlewati, mulai dari panas bling-bling, sampe hujan yang menderas, dari basah oleh keringat sampai dengan basah beneran karena main di arung jeram. Mulai dari duduk ”santai” di halilintar sampai jungkir balik terkocok di Tornado, semua terlewati di hari itu. Mulai dari tawa nyengir di pagi hari, sampai pucat pasi (lirik Simon) karena perut mules terkocok di KoraKora. Akhirnya hari itu diakhiri dengan makan malam soto betawi di daerah Manggarai sebelum akhirnya pulang.

Hari di Dufan itu adalah satu dari beberapa hari yang terlewati bersama mereka. Temen-temen ”baru” ku ini bukanlah mereka yang baruku kenal seminggu atau dua minggu. Mereka ada dan beredar dalam kehidupanku di kantor selama bertahun-tahun, dan ngga ingat gimana awalnya sampai kita bisa terus bisa jalan. Curhat-curhat colongan sampai dengan berbagi tawa terus mengisi hari :-)

Penopang jiwa itu...

Aku ingin bercerita dari hati
Dari hati yang sesungguhnya
Tanpa cemas akan cela

Aku rindu akan berbagi mimpi dan harapan
Tanpa kuatir akan kehilangannya

Aku rindu akan canda dan kemanjaan
Tanpa topeng yang menghalangi

Sebuah kelegaan dari kesesakan yang menghimpit
Sebuah kekuatan dari setiap hela nafas yang ada
Sebuah cahaya bagi jiwa yang berjalan

Aku rindu akan jiwaku yang dulu
Sebuah jiwa yang tanpa lelah dan takut untuk berkelana
Sebuah jiwa yang sebagian tak lagi kurasakan merekat saat ini

Sebagian jiwa yang telah tercabut dengan paksa dan entah kapan kembali

Aku rindu jiwaku itu...
Miss you, Pa....

always!

(August 31, 2008 - 11.35pm)